Indigo Bendy Straws
by Byaghro
Summary: Harry and Draco have lunch. Mayhem ensues.


**Disclaimer: **Does not belong to me! I am only writing for personal amusement and not monetary gain of any kind. All rights, characters, etc. belong to J. K. Rowling and associates.

**Pairing:** Harry / Draco (preslash)

**Warnings:** SLASH – This story has boy/boy themes. If this is not your cup of tea, please do not proceed. -- This fic is borderline crack.

**Summary:** Harry and Draco have lunch. Mayhem ensues.

"Remind me again why we're here, Potter."

A high pitched scream pierced the air as if to emphasize his point.

Harry winced at the noise. "Because it's my turn to pick where we eat and I wanted to try this new fast food place."

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "If you want _fast food_, you simply tell the house elves to speed it up or you'll make them iron their ears."

Another scream came from the vicinity of the play area and Harry turned in time to see a young boy push a pigtailed girl down before sprinting away.

"Ah, young love," Malfoy said sarcastically.

Harry smirked at him. "Does that mean all those times you tried to hex me at Hogwarts you were just expressing your love?"

Curiously, Draco's cheeks took on a pink glow but he quickly scowled and replied, "Hardly, Potter, you weren't my type. I didn't go for scrawny orphans in ill-fitting clothes."

Used to Malfoy's insults after working with him for a year, Harry did not take offense but merely countered with, "What about now? Are fit co-workers in fancy banker robes more your type?"

The pink glow intensified and Harry couldn't resist stepping closer. Malfoy actually seemed at a loss for words for a moment but yet another squeal shook him from his stasis. "You're not a banker, Potter, you're a guard. And while your current fashion choices are a definite improvement, they're still not up to my personal standard." With that, the blond crossed his arms and looked away.

"Hmm, pity," was all Harry said before turning his head to hide a grin. Like clockwork, Malfoy's head snapped around and Harry saw his mouth fall open. "You weren't _honestly_ considering asking me out… were you?"

Harry shrugged casually. "Doesn't matter anyway since I'm not your type, right?"

"But…"

Before Draco could continue, the cashier called for the next customers.

"Oh look, it's our turn." Harry said cheerily, ushering the blond forward. "Tell the nice young woman what you want to order."

Malfoy cut Harry a suspicious glance before turning his gaze to the Muggle teen behind the counter. "I'll have the Beef Wellington with a side of…"

Harry rushed forward and clamped his hand over Draco's mouth. "We'll have two number twos, please. To stay," he told the cashier hastily.

She gave him the total, immune to their antics. He released Malfoy to fish in his pocket for the correct change.

"Merlin, Potter, could you _be_ any more barbaric? It's a wonder you even possess speech skills."

"Stuff it, Malfoy," Harry replied good naturedly before grabbing their tray and leading the way to a small table in the middle of the crowded room. He put the tray of food down and instructed Draco to stay put while he went to retrieve straws and napkins. He returned to find the blond glaring at a toddler in the booth beside theirs.

Harry rolled his eyes.

As the removed the paper from his straw, he noticed something interesting. "Look, Malfoy." He gripped the straw and pulled, expanding it by about half an inch.

Draco looked nonplussed. "What is it, Potter?"

"It's a bendy straw, see." He demonstrated. "You put it in your drink and then you don't have to tilt the glass to take a sip." He held it out to the blond. "Give it a try."

Malfoy reluctantly took the straw and fiddled with it for a moment, compressing it back down before expanding and bending it again. He finally looked up at Harry. "I think this is quite the social commentary."

Harry quirked a brow. "How so?"

"Well, wizards have given Muggles things like Copernicus and his knowledge of the universe. And Muggles have given us drinking tubes crossed with accordions. Quite the fair trade, don't you think?"

Harry shook his head. "You just never let it go do you?"

Draco attempted to look shocked. "What? I was making an observation."

"Just eat your food."

Malfoy delicately poked at the paper-wrapped item before him. "What is it?"

Harry sighed and reached out to reveal the cheeseburger he'd ordered for the blond. "It's beef and bread and cheese. Now eat, I don't want to be late getting back."

"Merlin, I don't know why I put up with you sometimes," Malfoy grumbled.

"Because you hate eating in the cafeteria at work," Harry replied around a mouthful of chips.

Draco glared at him. "So do you."

Harry shrugged and continued eating.

The blond lifted his cheeseburger gingerly from the tray. He sniffed at it for a moment before snipping off a tiny bite with straight white teeth. He chewed slowly for several seconds before swallowing. "Not bad," was his final assessment.

Harry groaned and ran a hand over his face, they were going to be here forever.

A commotion a few tables down drew his gaze and he watched a harried young mother trying to herd three children, all of them appeared to be under the age of seven.

"Harold, stop that. Edgar, don't squeeze your cup like that or the lid will pop off. Horace, don't eat that off the floor, honey. Harold! What did I just say?"

"Doesn't that make you want to have a few, Potter? Can't you just imagine several little Scarhead Juniors running around?" Draco asked sardonically.

Harry shuddered dramatically. "No. Absolutely not. It makes me glad I prefer blokes."

Malfoy choked on his drink and Harry had to thump him on the back several times before he finally took a deep, gasping breath.

"Alright there, Malfoy?" he asked, sinking back into his chair.

"Since when…" Draco wheezed. He sipped his drink and tried again. "Since when do you prefer men?"

Harry thought for a moment. "Since about three years ago, I guess. Right after the War. Lots of fit men in Auror showers, you know?" He grinned.

Malfoy looked gobsmacked. "I never… I mean I thought… Why hasn't this been all over the papers?"

"It was." Harry informed him quietly. "But the Death Eater trials were going on at the same time so my sexual preferences actually took a backseat. For once."

"Are you…" Draco hesitated. "Are you seeing anyone now?"

Harry had never seen the blond so shaken, or so nervous. He shook his head. "Not a lot of opportunities, to tell you the truth. Once I decided to quit Auror training and come to Gringott's, I discovered that there are just as many fortune and glory seeking men as women." He paused and then leered at Draco. "Now don't you wish I was your type?"

A booming laugh interrupted any reply Draco might have had and they both turned to see a tall, thin man in a bright purple cape step out of a side door and into the children's play area.

"Greetings, friends! It is I, Indigo the Magician!"

A cry of joy went up throughout the restaurant and Harry had to snatch his foot out of the aisle to keep from being trampled by the stampede of children that surged toward the entertainer.

Draco looked back at Harry. "Remind me again why we're here, Potter."

Harry stared at him for a moment before heaving a sigh. He gathered their half-eaten food back onto the tray. "Come on, if we hurry we can place a to-go order at Francine's."

Draco grinned. "I don't see why you detest the place, they serve an excellent escargot quiche."

Harry shuddered. "Forgive me; I don't care for the taste of pretentious."

Malfoy laughed and the rare sound startled Harry. He stood and went to take their trash to the bin, still glancing over his shoulder at Malfoy. However, a startled cry of, "Edgar! Watch out!" jerked his attention forward, just in time to see a small child frozen in front of him.

Harry managed to stop just short of bowling into the terrified tot. However, the experience was traumatic nonetheless because a second later the child gripped his cup tightly, causing the lid to pop off. Cola exploded everywhere, drenching the unfortunate Edgar, who promptly burst into tears.

"Edgar," the young mother crooned, rushing over and starting to dab at the sobbing child's clothes. "Oh come on, you're okay. It's just a little cola." She said soothingly. "It's nothing a nice bath won't fix."

Inexplicably, this made the child cry harder. Harry stood there awkwardly for a moment, unsure of what to do when Draco suddenly appeared at his side. He glanced desperately at the blond who squatted down and waved his hand in front of Edgar until he caught the child's attention.

Malfoy displayed both of his empty hands, then reached quickly behind Edgar's head and came back with a lollipop in his fingers.

The child's eyes lit up and his tears stopped at once. Edgar's mother looked at him. "Oh, thank you."

"Think nothing of it, madam." Draco rose gracefully and grabbed Harry's arm. "Come along, Potter."

As Harry disposed of their trash, he glanced at Draco. "Where did you get the lollipop?"

"Magic, Potter."

Harry scoffed. "You can't just…" A distressed wail went up across the room. Harry saw the toddler that had been seated by them crying and reaching toward Edgar's table. He gasped and turned quickly back to Malfoy. "You stole it?!"

Draco shrugged.

Harry shook his head. "You're incorrigible."

"Thank you."

"It wasn't a compliment, git," Harry said fondly.

They were almost to the door when they heard someone shout, "Abracadabra!"

Harry felt rather than saw Draco reach for his wand and he grabbed the blond's arm quickly. "No!"

Malfoy stared at him incredulously. "What do you mean 'no', Potter? That man just tried to kill someone."

Harry shook his head. "That's not what he said."

"Are you deaf? That grape eyesore of a fake wizard just cast the Killing Curse, or tried to."

Harry shook his head again. "He said abracadabra, not the other."

Draco stopped trying to free his arm from Harry's grip. "He said what?"

"ABrakaDABra. It's a Muggle magic word," he explained.

"What spell does it cast?"

"It doesn't cast any spell, Draco. It's pretend. The same as hocus pocus."

"Hocus what?"

Harry sighed. "Can we just go now?"

Malfoy continued to look skeptical but after a minute he let his arms drop and continued for the door. Looking over at Harry he said, "We have got to work on your taste in eateries, Potter."

"Only if we can work on your taste in men," Harry replied cheekily.

Draco glanced at him from the corner of his eye and smirked. "Fair enough."


End file.
